Dialog of Self-Doubt

We all do it. We all have that little conversation inside ourselves. Sometimes the conversation is so divided you feel like you have multiple personalities. Usually, I have three voices inside my head. I call them Me, Myself, and I.

Dialog of Self-Doubt

Here’s an example conversation of what the voices in my head would sound like:

Me: So, I met this girl.
Myself: Uh oh. Here we go.
I: That’s great!

Me: Yeah, she’s pretty cool.
Myself: Yeah, so was your ex. See what that got you?
I: I’m happy for you!

Me: I’m scared, though. It’s been so long.
Myself: Not long enough!
I: It’s about time you met someone!

Me: I don’t know. She’s not like anyone I’ve dated before.
Myself: What haven’t you dated?
I: Good! Your “type” doesn’t seem to be good for you.

Me: Thing is, everything is going smooth… too smooth.
Myself: Won’t work. It never goes smooth.
I: Somebody shut Myself up! Smooth is good!

Me: But what if I scare her off? I’m not like other guys. I have depth.
Myself: Oh, your deep ass will scare her off, for sure.
I: If she can’t handle your depth, someone else will.

Me: I just don’t want to scare her.
Myself: She better run now!
I: Just take it easy and go slow. That’s all you gotta do.

Me: I don’t know. I’m scared to open up and love again.
Myself: Damn right. Lot of good that’s gotten you!
I: Life is love. You can’t stay shut off and have a full life.

Me: She’s inspired me to write again.
Myself: Oh no. More mindless drivel.
I: Great! That means she’s sparked your passion.

Me: I wrote this about her:

With her silent confidence, she whispered to my tired heart, “Be calm, I’m here now.”

Myself: God, you’re such a corny dork.
I: Listen to your heart man!

Me: But what if she hurts me like the others?
Myself: She will. They always do.
I: If you don’t try, you’ll never know if she’s right for you.

Me: Yeah, that’s a good point. Better to try and fail, than never to try.
Myself: To hell with that! Run while you still can!
I: I’m going to smack Myself! Life is about risks. No risk, no reward.

Me: Thing is, I already feel pretty deeply for her.
Myself: And you wonder why you fall on your face?
I: Better to fall on your face moving forward than on your ass backing up!

Me: I guess it will all work out in time.
Myself: Yeah, you’ll probably get crushed again.
I: Just remember: Things I Must Earn. Go slow, earn her heart, and it will be fine.

These internal voices are good. They help us to work things out. I’ve learned to not silence these internal dialogs. They are important in helping me understand what I’m thinking and the risks and rewards. Sometimes I find it quite helpful to write out these internal dialogs. It’s one thing to play the tape through in your head, but there’s something about putting it down on paper – seeing it in black and white – that helps you see the flaws your thinking.

Of course, it’s always a good idea to bounce what’s in your head off of someone who is trusted and wise. No person knows everything, and we are often our own worst counsel.

You’re as smart as you want to be!

Train the mind to thinkSeveral people have commented to me that they think I’m smart. While I appreciate that compliment, I assure you, I wasn’t born smart. Frankly, I was an idiot most of my youth. To be entirely honest, I was a High School dropout!

Here’s my opinion on smarts, for what it’s worth:

Unless you have some mental disability that dramatically reduces your capacity to learn, YOU are in control of how smart you become. Nobody is born smart! Our level of intelligence is directly proportional to our level of effort expended to obtain knowledge. I’ve even known scores of people, who were born with mental disabilities that limit their capacity to learn, who were very intelligent people because they put in work!

As I said, I was a High School dropout. I also failed 8th and 9th grades. It wasn’t because I didn’t have the capacity to learn – it was because I didn’t have the desire. In 1997, I went back and got my G.E.D., 2 years after I dropped out. In 2002 I started at WVU-P. I had no idea what I wanted to study, but I made a start. I put in the work. I eventually got a degree in Computer and Information Technology and I graduated with honors and a membership in PHI THETA KAPPA. Because I worked at it!

A lot of people also give the excuse that they don’t have the time or money for higher education. BS! I worked 2 jobs, went to college full-time and helped raise a child. If you want it bad enough, you will work for it! No money? Most colleges offer financial aid. There’s also online colleges, too. Those are an amazing resource for busy people. I wish I would have had that option when I went to college!

I’m writing this quick post because I see so many people down on themselves because they feel they are dumb or can’t get an education. YES YOU CAN! I’m not going to say it is easy. It’s not! However, pretty much everything I’ve found to be worth having in life requires effort!

Stop making excuses! Stop putting yourself down! If you want to become a well educated person, do something about it! If you don’t know where to start, contact your local community college and setup an appointment with a counselor. YOU are the only person who controls how smart you can be.

Now, as a caveat to this, I’d also like to say you don’t have to go to college to be smart, but it does help! You can learn something new every day. We have this amazing thing now called the Internet – maybe you’ve heard of it. 😉 If people would spend as much time looking up topics they are interested in and learning about them as they do posting funny status updates on Social Media, we’d be in a world where a lot more people were educated.

These are just my opinions. Take them or leave them. I share them to help encourage those who think they can’t, because you can. If my dumb, unmotivated, dropout self can learn, so can you! It just takes time and work. 😉