Creative Puns For Smart Minds

Chemistry Cat
Image Courtesy of FunnyShare.org

This was shared with me by a relative, some time ago and I thought it was too funny to not share. Enjoy…

  • The roundest knight at King Arthur’s Round Table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
  • I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
  • She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
  • A rubber band pistol was confiscated in an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
  • The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
  • No matter how much you push the envelope, itll still be stationery.
  • A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
  • A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
  • Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  • A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  • Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, You stay here, I’ll go on a head.
  • I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  • A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, Keep off the Grass.
  • A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, No change yet.
  • A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
  • The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
  • The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
  • A backward poet writes inverse.
  • In a democracy, its your vote that counts. In feudalism, its your count that votes.
  • When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
  • Don’t join dangerous cults, practice safe sects!

You’re as smart as you want to be!

Train the mind to thinkSeveral people have commented to me that they think I’m smart. While I appreciate that compliment, I assure you, I wasn’t born smart. Frankly, I was an idiot most of my youth. To be entirely honest, I was a High School dropout!

Here’s my opinion on smarts, for what it’s worth:

Unless you have some mental disability that dramatically reduces your capacity to learn, YOU are in control of how smart you become. Nobody is born smart! Our level of intelligence is directly proportional to our level of effort expended to obtain knowledge. I’ve even known scores of people, who were born with mental disabilities that limit their capacity to learn, who were very intelligent people because they put in work!

As I said, I was a High School dropout. I also failed 8th and 9th grades. It wasn’t because I didn’t have the capacity to learn – it was because I didn’t have the desire. In 1997, I went back and got my G.E.D., 2 years after I dropped out. In 2002 I started at WVU-P. I had no idea what I wanted to study, but I made a start. I put in the work. I eventually got a degree in Computer and Information Technology and I graduated with honors and a membership in PHI THETA KAPPA. Because I worked at it!

A lot of people also give the excuse that they don’t have the time or money for higher education. BS! I worked 2 jobs, went to college full-time and helped raise a child. If you want it bad enough, you will work for it! No money? Most colleges offer financial aid. There’s also online colleges, too. Those are an amazing resource for busy people. I wish I would have had that option when I went to college!

I’m writing this quick post because I see so many people down on themselves because they feel they are dumb or can’t get an education. YES YOU CAN! I’m not going to say it is easy. It’s not! However, pretty much everything I’ve found to be worth having in life requires effort!

Stop making excuses! Stop putting yourself down! If you want to become a well educated person, do something about it! If you don’t know where to start, contact your local community college and setup an appointment with a counselor. YOU are the only person who controls how smart you can be.

Now, as a caveat to this, I’d also like to say you don’t have to go to college to be smart, but it does help! You can learn something new every day. We have this amazing thing now called the Internet – maybe you’ve heard of it. 😉 If people would spend as much time looking up topics they are interested in and learning about them as they do posting funny status updates on Social Media, we’d be in a world where a lot more people were educated.

These are just my opinions. Take them or leave them. I share them to help encourage those who think they can’t, because you can. If my dumb, unmotivated, dropout self can learn, so can you! It just takes time and work. 😉

We All

Think for a second… We all feel love.
Think for a second… We all shed blood.
Think for a second… We all are flesh and bone.
Think for a second… We all are not alone.
Think for a second… We all have a face.
Think for a second… We all are one race.

~JRM

The truth of the matter is, we are all members of the human race. If we would join hands and try to find solutions to our problems rather than focusing on our differences, our world would be the place where we could conquer disease, poverty, oppression, war, and most, if not all of the ails the plague the human species. #weareallhuman #onerace

We Are All Human

Tell Them You Love Them

Look around you. Is there a person beside you that you love? Are there family members nearby that you love? What about your close friends, do you value and love them as well?

Tell Them You Love Them

In this uncertain world that we live in, there is a lesson I’ve learned the hard way that I wish to share. You can never take for granted that a person will be there later for you to express your appreciation and love to. Life is very short and those we love are often gone long before we expect it. What do you want your last words to be to any person in your life that you feel genuine value and love for?

Yes, I know this is a bit corny coming from me, but I learned this lesson very early in life and I believe it to be so very true. Show you’re appreciation for those you love, regardless of the situation, so that your last words are filled with appreciation, respect and love.

Regardless of whether you are angry, resentful, hurt, under-appreciated, heart broken or just plain mad, when you look in your heart, what do you feel for the person you are facing? Do you feel love? If so, say it! That person may step out into the street and get hit by a bus. They may eat a meal that is rife with Salmonella. They may owe a bookie and have a contract out on them. You never know! At any given moment, it could be their time, or your time to go.

So, I ask again, what do you want your last words to be?

Personally, I never, ever take for granted that a person I love will be there later. As my last words to anyone I sincerely love, I make it a point to tell them, “I love you.”

None of us knows the exact minute we will move on. Nor do we know this for anyone else. We should take every opportunity we can to express our love for those around us. You never know when the last time will be.

To those of you who truly know my heart, I love you!

Freedom Don’t Come Cheap

Remember 911

One day you wake up and the world is at your finger tips, you start the day as always- maybe give the wife a kiss,

No thought of the life you enjoy or what all you might miss. But friend you could lose it all so let me tell you this,

Don’t forget to sing praise to God for the air you breathe so free,

Give thanks for safety when you lay your head down to sleep,

Bow your head with a grateful heart when you sit down to eat,

And always thank the brave who fought ‘cuz freedom don’t come cheap,

I remember when the towers fell…Lord it tore me apart,

The pain all the families felt, you know it broke my heart,

Even though we’re healing now, I can still see the scars,

What a rude wake up call, a call to take our part,

Don’t forget to sing praise to God for the air you breathe so free,

Give thanks for safety when you lay your head down to sleep,

Bow your head with a grateful heart when you sit down to eat,

And always thank the brave who fought ‘cuz freedom don’t come cheap,

True, every day bad things happen here the USA,

People die from senseless crimes from those filled with hate,

Innocence lost forever due to those who beat and rape,

But imagine how much worse it’d be without those whose sacrifice is great,

Don’t forget to sing praise to God for the air you breathe so free,

Give thanks for safety when you lay your head down to sleep,

Bow your head with a grateful heart when you sit down to eat,

And always thank the brave who fought…’CUZ FREEDOM DON’T COME CHEAP!

In remembrance of 09/11/2001